Personal Struggles

You know when you’re in one, but once you make it through you begin to realize that your situation wasn’t so bad.

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I would characterize high school as a “personal struggle.”  In this case, struggle refers to the internal development that each person goes through.  All people begin to realize who they are or what they want to become at different times.  I have involved myself in a plethora of activities, but I used each activity as a way to distract myself from my own personal development.  I take AP classes, I played Varsity basketball, I’ve had a couple girlfriends, I spend time with acquaintances and I make my own music.  That basically sums up my high school career up to this point.  The problem I have with myself is myself.  I feel lost and disillusioned with who I am and what I am doing at times.  I feel like I don’t really hang out with people that I have a lot in common with and I feel like I spend too much time alone working on music, a hobby that I enjoy.  I don’t read enough and I don’t help others out enough.  I do not have any demanding time commitments, which is nice, but I often feel like I should be doing something better than what I am doing.  That is my high school struggle.  I am lucky that my struggle does not involve something out of my control, such as a family issue or a bully or something.  I am in control of my own life, which is something I am not very used to.

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I took a run to a local park one day and sat atop the monkey bars and watched the sky.  I saw the trees oscillating in the wind; it almost looked like they were alive.  Watching the trees, with their roots firm in the ground but their trunks free to wiggle around in the open air soothed me.  I sat their, motionless as the skies turned from light blue to black.  To be super metaphorical, the sun is setting on my junior year of high school.  What did I learn?  I enjoyed life.  I was very happy.  I struggled with life and I was very sad.  No matter what happens in my life, I will always be in control of myself and my decisions.  That is what I’ve learned.  Things will be good and things will be bad, but I can choose whether or not I want the struggles/joys of my life affect me.

Chris.

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One thought on “Personal Struggles

  1. I love this post! It is so nice to read that there are other students dealing with the same internal struggle that I have had. I have found that as I serve others by volunteering in the community and also in school that my “personal struggle” has become more of a time for personal development.

    Like

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